It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. They own, and control the corporations. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. ", Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. " George Carlin 14. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language. George Carlin, 25. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. Feel free to reach out and connect. George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. Theres no present. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, 59. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. They own you. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. - George Carlin profile quotes. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. How are YOU going to tackle today? return cookiePair[1]; If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. The challenge is to find it. //]]> Comedian Interview with Todd Leopold, edition.cnn.com. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. 383 talking about this. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("signedin", "false"); It doesnt only represent the good things. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. But there is an I in independence, individuality, andintegrity. George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. George Carlin, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! googletag.cmd.push(function() { Its disgusting, man. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. Deal with it. George Carlin, One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. George Carlin, Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. The planet is fine. [CDATA[ I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.George Carlin,Brain Droppings, THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: Please stop sucking my dick or Ill call the police. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why?Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that.George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat.George Carlin. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Topics. Its because volunteers work for no pay. Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. They own, and control the corporations. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. 4. A.async = !0; Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. return true; Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. Theyre all in favour of the unborn. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. a[a9]._Q.push([c, r]) Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. "ObfuscatedMarketplaceId": "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1" stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; I think that speaks for itself. "Events.SushiEndpoint": "https://unagi.amazon.com/1/events/com.amazon.csm.csa.prod", What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. We havent tried that for a while. People are wonderful one at a time. Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Deal with it. But did you ever notice that we have no war on homelessness? Resources. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. He had a way of critiquing and making fun of the government without necessarily getting into trouble. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Just daydreaming. function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { }; Maybe this time itll work. var url; If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. You have no choice. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. 2. }); What exactly is viewer discretion? Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. Laugh until you gasp for breath." - George Carlin 3. Its never just a game when youre winning.George Carlin, If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it?George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.George Carlin, Religion is just mind control. The less said about it the better. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reasonGeorge Carlin, They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. var gads = document.createElement("script"); Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. Dont look for it. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. We think in language. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. All rights reserved. A Death! George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_hd_images-2b89833762f600506d44865a33582d11.css"; We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! Well, we know what they want. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. People are wonderful. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. } stylesheet.href = url; They should be more vivid. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); ! Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. And fight songs. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. Religion class was always an easy class. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. I love individuals. The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. I think every day all children should have 3 hours of daydreaming. " Forget the politicians. Its all very confusing.George Carlin, People are wonderful. - George Carlin profile quotes. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a f**k about them. He was an American standup comedian. Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. George Carlin. George Carlin. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. October 29, 2004. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The people are f***ed. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. Christmas Quotes For Mothers To Make Her Day, These 10 Quotes About Best Friend Love Are Perfect For Showing Your True Colors, 118+ Inspiring Christmas Quotes For Instagram That Will Bring A Warm Glow To Your Holiday Season, Mourning Your Dogs Death With Quotes From Rainbow Bridge, 15+ Rumi Quotes On Happiness That Will Boost Your Mood, These Rumi Quotes About Depression Will Bring You Comfort. It will not be with jack-boots. Nobody seems to care. I hate groups of people. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. Were so self-important. Maybe this time itll work. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointedidealist. George Carlin, Never argue with an idiot. Some people see things that are, and ask, why? Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. Period. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. His insights on the world of politics were always keen and often quite funny. Lets get started! try { Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! They own everything. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school. George Carlin. Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. My first rule, I dont believe anything the government tells me And I dont take very seriously the media or the press in this country. George Carlin, 82. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. Source; . When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Its a great feeling. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. You should die first, get it out of the way. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth. But once youre born, youre on your own. George Carlin. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. //]]>. 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. Then you live in an old age home. And, let me tell you, theres nothin like it. In America, anyone can become president. Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save the snails. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. He loves you and he needs money. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. That is against their interests. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. I have certain rules I live by. Born: May 12, 1937. There is only a short pause before the next horrifying event. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). var isRetina = window.devicePixelRatio >= 2; // retina display Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question what they read. for(var i=0; i